I know this might make sound like an ungrateful Mum, but bloody hell am I excited about the prospect of going back to work.
I didn’t think I’d feel this way, I always assumed I would become a stay at home mum, or at least only go back part time, but I think because I’ve been really lonely for a lot of my maternity leave, I am now looking forward to going back to work.
That’s not to say I won’t miss Warren terribly. It hurts to think that I will probably miss some his firsts. I will probably miss his first steps, maybe even his first words. But I will go to work every day and do the best fucking job I can in order to provide the best possible life for my son.
I love my son, and I recognize that I need to be the happiest and healthiest I can be in order to look after him to best of my ability, both mentally and physically. I am a sociable person, and throughout my maternity leave I have felt almost in exile some times, especially when Warren was only a few months old. My marriage was also under a lot of strain at that time, because I wasn’t happy and there was nothing that could be done to rectify it at that time.
But now, I am looking at having ADULT conversations every day. I get to be Dani first, rather than Warren’s mum, and every afternoon when I come home I’m going to scoop him up in a huge cuddle, and spend quality time with him until I read him his bed time story and put him to bed.
It will be a crazy change, but I think it will benefit us all, especially in the long term.